Congratulations, self. You have a bachelors degree, and successfully double-majored in four years. You are so smart, well-rounded, motivated. You may now enter the real world, find a job, pay bills, and feed your kitten. You may also participate in pole-dancing class, because you now have the free time. And you're getting a bit pudgy. Next January, I will begin a new fitness routine. This time, however, I will not become bored with it. I will become a recreational pole dancer. I will be registering for a class once a week, very close to my apartment, taught by a professional (read: hot slut) pole dancer. YESSSSS. They encourage wearing many layers, as we will be learning how to seductively remove articles. I hope they teach me how to get off shirts without getting them stuck on my head, or pants without having to do that awkward kick thing. Those would be real world skills I need.
Stripper shoes are a necessity, and I am more than excited to try on some plastic 7 inch heels. Tara Reid, eat your heart out. What I really can't wait for is seeing who else is interested in learning how to pole dance in the middle of the city of St. Louis. I am definitely planning to bring some antibacterial wipes to sanitize my pole after the shar jackson lookalike takes her turn. And by turn, I mean half-turn followed by graceful swan dive into the floor. I am positively giddy and counting down the days.
2 comments:
do you think there will be a recital?
we should have demonstrated pole dancing in our healthy text presentation...we def could have stripped too since no one ever got to see it!!!! (tragic)
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