I totally don't even need cable

Speaking of Poker Face

Just in case you've never heard this version.

True Stories from the past 2 weeks of my life

1. At work last night, a guy on a date with another girl left me his number, a 12% tip, and the words "You wanna call me, girl?"  No. Kill yourself.

2. Last time I went to Barnes Jewish for my Human Microbiome Sampling, I got lost and ended up on the wrong floor: Endoscopy. I asked the lady at the desk where I could find clinical studies, to which she replied, "I have no idea. We do colonoscopies here." SO I SAID "AHAHA WELL I DON'T WANNA BE HERE!" Blank stare. Crickets. Old People coughing. I am destined to have colon cancer now.

3. I found BK heart JE drawn in the pavement a block from our apartment. When I asked Brandon if he had written it, he goes, "HAHA, Oh my god, yeah I totally forgot I did that; I think I was drunk walking home one night." Romance, y'all.

4. My car got broken into. They stole my cd deck, GPS, and all my cd's, including Lady Gaga. I have a hard time dealing with how racist I feel imagining the perps jamming to "Poker Face".

Remembering the king

My grandparents used to have huge Elvis paintings and Elvis bust sculptures all over their tacky house. I would sit on their plastic-covered couch and drink flat Dr. Pepper and wonder who he was. I think I want one. Maybe this one.

He's real. And I want him.

I remember this being like porn when I was 12.

Then Devon Sawa made Final Destination movies. LOL Ghosts/Extreme deaths

Whatever happened to Obama girl?

She made me wanna be all.. political.

I think I want ice cream after all.

One fun facet of wedding planning is selecting the cake. Brandon and I are pretty sure we are going an alternate route with an ice cream sundae bar since we both prefer ice cream, but we haven't made up our minds quite yet. Honestly, this is because recently we've gotten pretty addicted to Cake Boss, and I also watch the other cake shows on TLC. I know, you're super shocked about yet another mention of TLC. Go Little Chocolatiers. Anyway, I find these "cake artists" captivating. I want to go watch them in person. And then eat their masterpieces. Needless to say, their work has certainly weighed on my mind. I've been googling some cakes just to get some ideas for the consultation with our baker on Wednesday. While browsing images, I found some terrific inspiration:

Honey, does this cake make me look fat?

I would wait SOOOOO long in line for the perfect piece of this one.

I think it's waving at me.

The flower detail is exquisite.

I PAID FOR FUCKING SPRINKLES.

I found the unedited version of this one. You're better off looking at this one.

They also make cakes for people who don't want to have sex ever again after they get married. It's going to be a tough call.

Just found another reason to love Bareilles.