"Superman or Batman?"
Being Jessi, naturally I responded accordingly:
"Are you asking which I prefer, which I relate to easier, or... what exactly?"
"No, no. Don't think about it too much. Just answer. Select a superhero."
"Okay. Superman."
He held up his phone to show that he had typed in a message before I had responded: Superman. He had guessed my response.
I asked him to explain this riddle, and what implications it had for me as a superhero-picker. He told me that every time he meets someone new, he guesses which one they are more likely to pick. For women in particular, it has a lot to do with whether or not they are drawn to bad boys, or men with a dark side. (I am not, nor have I ever been one of these girls, but I do see this behavior occur in a hilarious percentage of women and am therefore lacking in sympathy when one of fourteen terrible things happens to them later.)
Before he explained the simplicity of the question and that his social experiment was a personal obsession, he asked me why I chose Superman. I didn't have to think hard about it. Superman was born Superman; Clark Kent, a regular human, is just Superman's alter ego. A huge part of Superman's story involves him being a baby and that is absolutely adorable. Superman loves Lois Lane, a career woman (!) who isn't blond, has journalistic prowess, and gives no fucks. Superman is cute and mysterious without being arrogant. Superman is fantastic.
Batman talks in a weird ass voice and has a bestie named Robin (also in tights). This is not a contest.
Bill agrees with me, moments before he dies from the five point palm exploding heart technique (you're welcome if you speak Spanish):
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