I totally don't even need cable

Speaking of Poker Face

Just in case you've never heard this version.

True Stories from the past 2 weeks of my life

1. At work last night, a guy on a date with another girl left me his number, a 12% tip, and the words "You wanna call me, girl?"  No. Kill yourself.

2. Last time I went to Barnes Jewish for my Human Microbiome Sampling, I got lost and ended up on the wrong floor: Endoscopy. I asked the lady at the desk where I could find clinical studies, to which she replied, "I have no idea. We do colonoscopies here." SO I SAID "AHAHA WELL I DON'T WANNA BE HERE!" Blank stare. Crickets. Old People coughing. I am destined to have colon cancer now.

3. I found BK heart JE drawn in the pavement a block from our apartment. When I asked Brandon if he had written it, he goes, "HAHA, Oh my god, yeah I totally forgot I did that; I think I was drunk walking home one night." Romance, y'all.

4. My car got broken into. They stole my cd deck, GPS, and all my cd's, including Lady Gaga. I have a hard time dealing with how racist I feel imagining the perps jamming to "Poker Face".

Remembering the king

My grandparents used to have huge Elvis paintings and Elvis bust sculptures all over their tacky house. I would sit on their plastic-covered couch and drink flat Dr. Pepper and wonder who he was. I think I want one. Maybe this one.

He's real. And I want him.

I remember this being like porn when I was 12.

Then Devon Sawa made Final Destination movies. LOL Ghosts/Extreme deaths

Whatever happened to Obama girl?

She made me wanna be all.. political.