St. Louis: A breeding ground for important people

It's no secret that I think St. Louis is a shithole. This year it was rated the most dangerous city in America, for good reason. My car has been broken into twice, I hear gunshots bi-weekly, and I regularly see beggars on all four corners at major intersections. St. Louis is a disgrace: a poverty-stricken, severely racially polarized city with very little to offer the rest of the country. Except for Nelly's fantastic music. Recently, I was talking to a friend about buying the domain stlouissucks.com and posting photos, stories, videos and anecdotes relevant to St. Louis's general suck factor. I could also write small biographies for any of these semi-important and/or useless people from this terror of a city:

Akon, hiphop & r&b singer-songwriter

Daniel Boone, explorer, hunter, soldier, businessman

Every last Busch, beermakers, tycoons, girlfriend murderers

Cedric the Entertainer, comedian/actor

Sheryl Crow, singer-songwriter and musician, still got Clapton by the balls

Shandi Finnessey, host, Miss USA 2004

Jon Hamm, actor, surprisingly the worst host of SNL to date

Kevin Kline, actor

Charles Lindbergh, pilot, adventurer, soldier, author, not the greatest babysitter

Michael McDonald, singer

Taylor Momsen, actress, attention whore

Nelly, rapper, singer and actor

Lance Robertson, musician and host of "Yo Gabba Gabba!" (as DJ Lance Rock)

Kimora Lee Simmons, former model, mogul, gold digger

Tina Turner, singer

I could only find a handful of people who actually did anything worthwhile. These included Maya Angelou, Kate Chopin, Tennessee Williams, T.S. Eliot and Jenna Fischer. Yes, Jenna Fischer. I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS CITY.